


Free Hugs

by hetro_elasticgirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, dan/phil fluff, fluffy kinda??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4316610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetro_elasticgirl/pseuds/hetro_elasticgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas is close, and Phil is giving free hugs in London to people passing by. When he sees a man walking past that looks like he could use a hug, he offers one. After multiple rejections, Phil tries to get to know Dan, and he finds out his past, and what's with the repeated 'no' that Dan gives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based off this prompt:  
> 'Imagine A walking around with a free hugs sign. B walks by, very depressed, and A hugs them. Bonus: They aren’t together yet. Bonus 2: B starts sobbing into the stranger with the hugs sign’s shoulder.'  
> from tumblr blog http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/ all credit for the original prompt goes to them!!
> 
> yeh, it gets a bit off topic from the prompt, but eh~  
> also sorry if it's terrible, first thing ive written in about 3 years?? so... yeh. enjoy!

The centre of London isn’t always the warmest place. With Christmas fast approaching, the winter chill bit through the many layers of scarves and jumpers of people getting to the places they need to be, leaving little motivation for people passing by to take notice of their surroundings. Tourists and locals in Trafalgar Square kept their heads down and knocked shoulders with each other, giving half-hearted apologies before continuing to try and find any place that offered some source of heat. On the sidelines, watching all the hustle around him go on, a black haired man stood in the middle of the pathway, yelling over the noise of the crowd.

‘FREE HUGS! FREE HUGS!’ the man shouted, his breath visible in the crisp air. The crowd ignored the obviously crazy man, because why would anyone in their right mind be out in this weather with a sign that said ‘free hugs’ around their neck, shouting at the top of their lungs?

‘FREE HUGS! ANYONE WANT A HUG?’ he continued, not letting the sideways glances of passing strangers get to him.

He’d been doing this for the past month now, and while there were some people that took him up on his offer, mostly mothers just quickly told their children to move along and creepy men stared at him for a while, before giving a quick wink and walking away. And while that bothered the man at first, the feeling of constant rejection had become as numb to him as his fingertips. Besides, he wasn’t doing this for the attention that he got from people, no, he did this to make at least one person feel happy.

Ten minutes had passed since the last person took up the offer on a free hug, before a short old lady walked up and started talking.

‘Oh hello dear, aren’t you cold out here?’

‘Not really. I have three shirts on plus this jumper here.’

‘Oh my word, what’s your name? And what’s a young man like yourself doing something like this?’

‘Ha. You’re actually the first person to ever ask for my name, and I’ve been doing it for a month. It’s Phil, Phil Lester. And I’m doing this because my brother recently went into hospital, and it got me thinking that people might have things going on in their lives, and might need the kindness of a stranger.’

‘That’s awfully kind of you young man! I should get going, I need to buy some presents for my grandchildren, but I wish for the best for you Phil Lester. A nice man like you deserves some happiness. I hope your brother gets out of hospital soon!’ the lady shouted as she walked away.

Phil thought to yell out ‘Happy holidays’ after her, but thought against it, in case she was late for something. He realised that the lady never got her hug, and that he didn’t even ask for her name. He felt bad about it, mainly because she was the kindest person he had encountered yet.

Phil kept going for another two hours before he decided he should think about heading home. He convinced himself that another half hour wouldn’t hurt, and that he would leave after that.

On the tail end of the half hour, Phil saw a man that stood out from all the others. Other than the fact that he was rather tall, his face was pale, hunched over, and he wore a blank expression that would make a mannequin envious. In that respect, he was no different to any other person in the crowd, but it was the way those features were outwardly expressed is that what made Phil take notice. It looked like it wasn’t from the cold, but rather his thoughts that made him appear like this.

Phil hesitantly walked up to the man, unsure of whether or not this was a wise idea, but proceeded anyway. He tapped warily on the shoulder of the man’s black cotton hoodie, and jumped back when the man turned around quickly, obviously flustered and confused as to what was happening.

‘Hey there, do you need a hug?’ Phil offered.

‘Oh, _uh_ , no thanks. I’ve, _err,_ got shopping to do, _uh_ , I’m sorry…’ the man replied.

‘Oh, okay sure. Just offering.’

‘Yeah.’ he trailed off, not sounding too sure that he was convinced of what he was saying himself.

He walked away, and as he did, Phil noticed the way that the barely-there sunlight bounced off of the strangers brown hair, and stood there, mystified, as to how beautiful it looked.

Phil took that encounter as his que to leave, heading towards Charing Cross Station to catch the tube home.


	2. Chapter 2

Every day for the next week, the pale brown haired man walked past Phil, and every day Phil offered him a hug, and every day he would have a new excuse not to. Phil never pressed the conversation further, but always wondered what caused the unwavering rejection from the brown haired boy. He understood that people had boundaries, and that this could be considered ‘harassment’, but there was just something in the way the rejection was spoken that made Phil think that perhaps there were other reasons for the repeated ‘no’. He pondered this thought one afternoon, while there was more ignorance towards Phil than usual. He decided to give the hugs a break, and try and find any source of warmth with in a two-mile radius.

A café only a few blocks down from where Phil was standing that he’d been to once or twice was where he ended up. It looked almost full, but Phil’s legs were so numb that he couldn’t bring himself to find anywhere else.

He walked in, and a wave of heat hit him as soon as the door opened. Phil had a sudden deep understanding of why people never stopped to hug him in the freezing cold. The warm, the heat, it was like walking into a warm hug of someone just sitting in front of a fireplace. And it was the best thing that Phil had ever felt. But his moment of bliss quickly ended, as he realised that it was completely full, and that he barely had enough money for a coffee. He turned around to walk out of the café when a somewhat familiar voice was right behind him.

‘You can _uh_ , join me if you want. I have a spare seat at the booth and just… You don’t have to if you don’t want though…’

The lights in the room bounced off the man’s brown hair that Phil had grown to recognise.

‘ _Uh_ , yeah of course, if you wouldn’t mind that is.’

‘Of course not. I wouldn’t mind, that is. I mean… You can join if you want.’

The brown haired man looked down at his feet, and started walking towards a booth in the corner. It was small, and only two, maybe three people could sit in it. The two men sat quietly for what could have been 2 minutes, but felt like 30 because of the defining silence. It was Phil who finally broke the awkwardness, deciding to start with the basics of conversation.

‘So, _uh_ , what’s your name?’

‘Dan,’ he said shyly. ‘Dan Howell.’

‘Well Dan Howell, I’m grateful to be able to give your face a name. Now that I think about it, all my other guesses of your name are completely awful.’

‘What… tell me some of them? Please?’ Dan asked, still obviously uncomfortable.

‘Ha. Well, for a while I was thinking Tyler, but on Wednesday I was starting to think it was Connor. I did have an idea of Joey and Shane going around in my head, but that’s completely insane now I think about it. Dan. The name fits you.’

‘Oh, _um_ , thank you? It’s short for Daniel. I’m sorry, you probably already could have guessed that. I’m sorry…’

‘It’s okay! I promise, it’s fine!’

‘Okay… What’s yours? Your name?’

‘Oh! I didn’t even think about you not knowing mine. I’m Phil.’

‘Phil…?’

‘Lester. I’m sorry, I usually do say my last name along with my first.’

‘Oh okay… Well, _um_ , Phil Lester, are you going to order anything?’

‘ _Uh_ , I was planning to, but this place is a bit more expensive than I thought, and I still have to pay to get on the train later…’

‘What do you want? To order?’

‘I was just planning on getting a coffee, but I don’t think I will now.’

Dan got out his wallet and started counting coins. Phil had an idea of what Dan was up to, but didn’t want to make assumptions in case he made the situation more awkward than it already was.

‘ _Uh_ , here you go. That… that’s enough for two coffees here. I think.’

Phil gave Dan a confused look.

‘Two?’

‘Oh _um_ , yeah, if that’s okay. I mean, if you don’t want to that’s okay I just… if you were going to go up there I was going to ask if you could buy one for me too. I’m sorry.’

‘Oh no, that’s totally fine, I’ll buy one for you. But I can’t take your money to pay for my one though.’

‘I’m sorry… But please, use yours and take the rest that you need from me. I, I don’t want you to miss out or anything. You’re always out there, cold and your lips blue. You should... you should have something warm to drink.’

‘Okay, but I’m going to pay you back as soon as possible. What coffee do you want Daniel Howell?’

‘Just, just get the same thing that you’re going to buy. Two of yours. Drinks, two of your drinks. Please…’ Dan trailed off at the end of the sentence and looked towards his feet.

Phil decided not to question Dan anymore, at least not until they both had a coffee in their hand. He walked up to the counter, and payed 9£ for two medium black coffees. The wait was longer than what Phil would expect from a café, but considering the sheer number of people all jam-packed into the store, Phil reasoned that the wait was acceptable, even though it was 10 minutes before the barista shouted his name over the noise of everyone. Phil returned to the booth with a coffee in both hands, and sat down opposite Dan. Phil slid the coffee across the table, and Dan caught is with ease.

‘Take away cups?’

‘ _Uh_ , yeah I hope that’s okay. I just got them in take away cups because I might finish drinking mine on my way back to Trafalgar.’

‘You’re smart. And kind. And you obviously already know my order. You should be a barista, not a hug giver-awayer.’

‘Yeah, even with the bad pay, I’d still earn more money than giving strangers hugs for free.’

‘ _Uh_ , so, if you don’t mind me asking, why… why do you do the free hugs thing? I mean, you’re there all day every day, how do you afford to live and buy food? I, I don’t imagine free hugs would pay that well.’

‘Yep, that’s pretty true, free hugs aren’t _the best_ source of income. But, my grandmother died a couple of months ago, and she left me some money, so that’s really what’s helping me pull through. She always told me that while I should be making me happy, making other people happy is important too. And my brother’s in hospital right now, and I’m not really sure when he’s getting out. And with those two things, it got me thinking about other people, and how I don’t know what’s happening in their lives. So I started giving out free hugs, in case someone didn’t have anywhere else to go. So…’

‘And… so why do you keep offering _me_ a hug? Do you… do you do that for anyone else?’

‘Aw, stop or you’ll make me blush! _Um_ , no I don’t really do that for anyone else.’

‘Then, why do you do it for me?’

‘Because you… you look like you need one.’

‘Oh! Oh, _ah_ , okay…’

‘Can I ask you a question Dan?’

‘ _Uh_ … okay.’

‘Why don’t you accept any of the hugs? I mean, I understand that people have boundaries and all, but you’ve always made an excuse, never an outright no.’

Dan became immediately flustered, and began tripping and stumbling over his words, as if he was trying to say a hundred thoughts at once.

‘I mean it’s just… It’s because…. I’m just… You just… An-and people… It’s a… I have… it’s not because… I just… You are… I’m sorry I have got to go.’

Dan hit the table in the booth with his knee as he stood up, and quickly left the café in a hurry. Phil looked around, seeing if anyone had noticed anything, but they all kept going with their conversations. He too decided to leave, and quickly walked through the frigid air, and took his place in Trafalgar Square once again.


	3. Chapter 3

The Trafalgar crowds began to get less and less patient with Phil. More people were muttering expletives under their breath as they walked past, not realising that Phil could see the frost coming out of their mouth. He laughed to himself whenever that happened, as they were usually something along the lines of ‘stupid beggar’, despite the fact that he made no money out of the hugs. He wasn’t bothered by it at all though; he was only out in the below-freezing weather to try and spot the somewhat familiar brown hair, if only to pay back his debt.

 For the past three days, he’d been walking back to the café anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day, sitting in the same booth that he shared his coffee with Dan. Despite his efforts, and all the expenses from buying mass amounts of slightly-overpriced coffee, Phil was yet to encounter Dan again. He set himself a limit while walking on the fourth day; another 2 days. Three times a day for the next 2 days, and if he doesn’t see Dan before that, then he would give up his search. He tried to rationalise giving himself a longer time limit, but his wallet was becoming emptier by the day, and if the brown haired man hadn’t come back by then, he obviously wasn’t going to at all.

The now familiar smell of coffee hit Phil as he walked into the café. By now, he didn’t even have to tell the barista working there his order, Phil found out as soon as the female employee pushed buttons on the screen when he got to the front of the line. Phil didn’t mind too much though, he wasn’t there for the coffee or anything. He heard his name over the noise of the café 10 minutes later, and sat back down in his usual place. He looked around, and was disappointed, yet unsurprised, with no appearance of Dan. Phil looked down at his cup, and saw black writing on the side. With closer inspection, he realised it was a phone number. Looking over at the barista, she gave him a wink, and went back to serving customers their coffee. Phil, feeling his cheeks burn, looked away towards the door, and was surprised when no other than Daniel Howell walked through, looking at his shoes.

Phil stood up quickly, not wanting Dan to notice him, and tried to find another table he could sit at, or anywhere where that he could avoid Dan until he could come up with a plan. But, as usual, the place was completely full. With nowhere else to go, and not wanting to miss Dan, Phil had only one idea in his mind. With quick movements, he went behind the counter and grabbed an apron and a notepad. He walked over to Dan, trying not to look too suspicious.

‘Hello there, how may I help you?’

Dan looked up at Phil, his surprise obvious on his face.

‘Uh, hi Phil? What… What are you doing?’

‘Weeeeeeellll, you said that I should be a barista, and so… I did!’

‘Oh, then… why are you dressed like a waiter?’

Phil panicked for a second, as his mind went blank. He looked around, trying to buy time before giving Dan an answer.

‘Um… They’ve got me on waiter duty today.’

‘Really? I’ve never seen any waiters here before?’

 ‘Uh… yeh, that’s-that’s a new thing they’re bringing in, and I’m the first one they hired.’

Dan looked up at Phil, and decided to go along with whatever Phil was saying.

‘Uh, so, may I take your order?’

‘Well, Phil Lester, I do remember telling you my order once.’

‘One medium black coffee?’

‘That’s it.’

‘Okay, I’ll get that right away for you.’

Phil went to write down the order, and realised that he didn’t have a pen, and froze for a second.

‘Uh, Phil? Are you, are you okay?’

Phil looked at Dan, trying not to let the worry show in his eyes. Dan has already probably figured out that this is all fake, but how was he meant to get his order to him? He couldn’t just go behind the counter and give the barista his order, especially because there wasn’t one, at least not that he had written down.

‘Yeh no everything’s fine! It’ll be out in a minute!’

Phil rushed around many thoughts in his head, and suddenly he thought of something. He looked down at his own cup of coffee in his hand. Phil though that he could maybe get away with this, seeing as he hadn’t actually drank any of it. But, it was in a to-go cup, and it had the barista’s number on it. Phil was on the verge of crying when he realised- The barista! He walked over to the girl who had served him. He tried to get her attention, eventually succeeding.

‘Uh hey! Hi! Uh, I was wondering… could I, could I get another one of these? Like, really quickly?’

‘I’m sorry, but if you want another one you’re gonna have to get to the back of the line.’

Phil started to panic again. This was all going awfully, and Phil couldn’t see any way out of it other than running, and never coming back. But, then he might risk never seeing Dan again. And Phil had tried too hard to let him slip through his fingers, again. He looked at the barista’s name tag, in a last ditch effort to try and fight his way through this mess he got himself into.

‘Please, Paige, I just need one. Look, I’ve made a mess here, and I need to impress someone.’

Phil immediately felt _terrible_ for what he was doing, but    it was the only way he could see out of this situation.

‘Oh! Who-who… what are you doing?’ Paige asked, looking hopeful.

‘I’m using me getting this coffee as an excuse to talk to someone…’

‘Oh! Well, i-in that case, o-of course I can get that for you! It’ll just be a minute!’ She stuttered, excitedly.

‘Oh, but uh… could I get it in a mug, not a to-go? Thanks…’

‘Yeh, of course!’ Paige smiled at him.

Phil smiled back, feeling incredibly guilty for what he had just done. He had used this girl’s innocent flirting with him for his own benefit, and fooled her into thinking it was about her. He tried to ignore the voice in his head saying _‘you didn’t trick her, she chose to take it that way!’_ Because, no matter if it was her that decided to think that, it was still his wrong doing. He was still absorbed in his thoughts when Paige tapped him on his shoulder, her eyes beaming with excitement and hope.

‘Here’s your coffee! Enjoy Phil, and I’ll see you soon?’

Phil squirmed around, feeling somewhat disgusted with himself.

‘Yeh, sure. So that’s 4.50£?’

‘Actually, it’s on the house.’ Paige winked at Phil again as he walked away, his mind racing with what he had just done to Paige.

He walked over to Dan, flustered.

‘Here’s your coffee, sir’

‘Uh, thank you… Di-did you want to sit down with me and drink it? I feel… I feel like we should talk.’

Phil’s heart started racing, but he convinced himself it was from somewhat stealing a coffee from that poor girl.

‘Uh, I would, but I… Uh, I’ve got work to do, uh, around here.’

‘Um… Okay, I’m sorry, I tried to play along, with… whatever you were doing, but I know that you don’t really work here…’

Phil felt his cheeks burn a scarlet colour. He tried so hard, and it was all for nothing. He looked around, trying not to meet Dan’s eyes.

‘How’d you know?’

‘Well… I promise I-I’m not creepy or-or stalking you or anything but… I’ve been watching you come in here every day, and none of those times you were working here. And when I walked in here, I saw you rush around trying to hide. And, well… Your apron says ‘Ralph’ on it…’

If it was possible, Phil felt himself blush even more.

‘Oh, okay… Um, in that case… Sure. I’ll sit with you.’


End file.
